I Will Omit But I Will Not

You Can't Make The Duchess Of Windsor Into Rebecca Of Sunnybrook Farm. The Facts Of Life Are Very Stubborn Things.

Cats Have Enormous Patience With The Limitations Of The Human Mind. They Realize...that We Have An Infuriating Inability To Understand, Let Alone Follow, Even The Simplest And Most Explicit Of Directions.

It Suddenly Dawned On Me One Day, When I Was Reading In The Paper About A Woman Wrestler, That Being A Curmudgeon Was The Last Thing In The World That A Man Can Be That A Woman Cannot Be. Women Can Be Irritating -- After All, They Are Women -- But They Cannot Be Curmudgeons.

People Ask Me What Makes A Good Funeral, And I Tell Them The Most Important Thing Is Your Man In The Casket. If You Have A Man Of Substance In There, You Have The Makings Of A First-class Funeral.

In My Day The Schools Taught Two Things, Love Of Country And Penmanship-now They Don't Teach Either.