I Wish I Had Taken Spanish Instead

I Don't Do Alcohol. Or Other People's Boyfriends. And Don't You Forget It.

Do Not Chase Boys. Chasing Boys Is Bad. Chasing Boys Can Lead To Horrible Things Like Mansions Going Up Into Flames, Hand Amputations, And Blindness. So Have Some Self Respect And Don't Let Things Get Too Far Before The Wedding Day.

But Things Were Different Now. I Finally Had My Head -pun Intended- On Straight.

I Like 'em Big. And Stupid. Don't Tell My Husband.

Whoa. If High School Was Suppose To Be The Best Years Of My Life - At Least So Far - I Was Truly Destined To Have A Sucky Adulthood.