I Wish I Were Dumber So I

Dilbert: Evolution Must Be True Because It Is A Logical Conclusion Of The Scientific Method. Dogbert: But Science Is Based On The Irrational Belief That Because We Cannot Perceive Reality All At Once, Things Called Time And Cause And Effect Exist. Dilbert: That's What I Was Taught And That's What I Believe. Dogbert: Sounds Cultish.

I Rank Money Higher Than Social Life Or Meaning Because Once You Have Money, Those Other Things Are Easier To Get. For Example, You Won't Have Much Of A Social Life If You Can't Afford To Do Anything. And You Can't Make Money If Your Health Is A Mess.

There's No Such Thing As Good Ideas And Bad Ideas. There Are Only Your Own Ideas And Other People's. If You Want Someone To Like Your Idea, Tell Him He Said It First Last Week And You Just Remembered It.

If You Don't Believe Your Salmon Is Wild, Ask It To Fetch Your Newspaper And See What Happens.

There's A Fine Line Between Marketing And Grand Theft.