I Won't Be Going To Any New

A Wedding Is A Funeral Which Masquerades As A Feast. And The Greater The Pageantry, The Deeper The Savagery.

It's Received Wisdom That The English Are Uniquely Child-unfriendly.

Fame Is No Sanctuary From The Passing Of Youth... Suicide Is Much Easier And More Acceptable In Hollywood Than Growing Old Gracefully.

Grooming Oneself With All The Crazed Compulsion Of An Under-exercised Lab Rat In Order To Hook A Rich Man And Obtain A Lush Lifestyle Makes A Certain (albeit Seedy) Sense.

When I Started At The Guardian, Though, I Couldnt Think Of Anything We Saw Eye To Eye On, Except Feminism, And Even This Would Soon Be Arguable As Guardian Writers Queued Up To Drool Over Eminem.