I Wonder If Socrates And Plato Took

I Work For A Company That Makes Deceptively Shallow Serving Dishes For Chinese Restaurants.

I Don't Have To 'freedom-kiss' My Wife When What I Really Want To Do Is French-kiss Her.

I'm Not A Drinker, My Body Won't Tolerate...eh...spirits, Really. I Had Two Martinis New Years Eve And I Tried To Hi-jack An Elevator And Fly It To Cuba.

Life Is Horrible, But It Is Not Relentlessly Black From Wire To Wire. You Can Sit Down And Hear A Mozart Symphony, Or You Can Watch The Marx Brothers, And This Will Give You A Pleasant Escape For A While. And That Is About The Best That You Can Do.

There's Nothing Sexier Than A Lapsed Catholic.