If A Drink Was Ice Cold, It

I Had A Paper Route When I Was A Kid. I Was Supposed To Go To 2,000 Houses. Or Two Dumpsters.

I Make Myself A Bowl Of Instant Oatmeal, And Then I Don't Do Anything For An Hour. Why Do I Need The Instant Oatmeal? I Could Get The Regular Oatmeal And Feel Productive.

I Want To Get A Job Naming Kitchen Appliances. That Seems Easy; Refrigerator, Toaster, Blender. You Just Say What The Thing Does And Add "er".

You Should Never Tell Someone They Have A Nice Dimple, Because Maybe They Were Shot In The Face With A Bb Gun.

I Can Read Minds, But I'm Illiterate.