If Beauty Is In The Eye Of

...went To A Bar For A Few Drinks. The Bartender Asked What I Wanted. "surprise Me", I Said. So He Showed Me A Naked Picture Of My Wife.

I Tell Ya When I Fly, I Don't Get No Respect. I Took One Of Those Cheap Flights, No Frills. I Finished Eatin' And Had To Do The Dishes.

I Took My Son To Coney Island, I Said "wanna Go In The Crazy House?", He Said "save Your Money We'll Be Home Soon"!

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.

People Ask If I Can Get It Up In The Morning. I Tell Them Are You Kidding I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.