If Bill Gates Woke Up With Oprah's

When You're Doing A Big-budget Movie And You're Four On The Call Sheet, You've Got A Lot Of Free Time.

My Movies Are Okay, But They're Not My Specials.

Unlike Flying Or Astral Projection, Walking Through Walls Is An Earthbound Pursuit.

I Took My Alds Test. You Start Reflecting... You Start Thinking About Every Nasty, Skank-ass... It's Like The Movie Scrooge, And The Ghost Of Pussy Past Comes.

I'm A Nerd. I'm A Little Guy... The Last Guy You'd Expect In A Romantic Movie.