If Everybody Were A Guy, The Human

What I Need Is A Search Engine That, No Matter What I Type In, Comes Back With Go Back To Work.

American Consumers Have No Problem With Carcinogens, But They Will Not Purchase Any Product, Including Floor Wax, That Has Fat In It.

If Swimming Is So Good For Your Figure, How Do You Explain Whales?

If Mozart Had Power Tools, There's No Telling How Great His Music Might Have Been.

We're Trying To Make Our Current House Look Domestic So That Somebody Will Want To Buy It. We're Making A Lot Of Simple, Obvious Improvements That Never Would Have Occurred To Us To Make While We Actually Lived Here, Because, Tragically, We Both Happen To Be Domestically Impaired. If We Were Birds, Our Nest Would Consist Of A Single Twig With The Eggs Attached Via Scotch Tape.