If Everyone Had A Dad Like Mine,

A Combustion Engine Of Ambition And Disappointment.

It Is Less Dangerous To Draw A Cartoon Of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — Which, Let Me Make It Very Clear, I Have Not Done — Than It Is To Speak Honestly About [working Moms].

We Should Leave People Alone About Their Weight. Being Skinny For A While (provided You Actually Eat Food And Don't Take Pills Or Smoke To Get There) Is A Perfectly Fine Pastime. Everyone Should Try It Once, Like A Super-short Haircut Or Dating A White Guy.

I Feel Like There Is A Lot Of Inherent Humor In The Stress And Insanity Surrounding That Process. People Lose Their Minds, Trying To Prove Their Parental Worth By Getting Their Children Into One Of Five Colleges; When There Are Thousands Of Good Colleges Across The United States - And Elsewhere.

This Made No Sense To Me, Probably Because I Speak English And Have Never Had A Head Injury.