If Germans Are Happy It Means Everyone

I Hope People'll Find Out Pretty Quickly That The Guy They Saw For 10 Years Was My Sense Of Humor The Whole Time.

They Say The Only People Who Tell The Truth Are Drunkards And Children. Guess Which One I Am.

If The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul, Then Why Does It Hurt When I Spray Them With Windex?

I'm Off For Two Weeks, So Until I Get Back, Take The Characters In This Tweet And Parcel Them Out One Per Day. Use This Q Wisely.

Nothing Reassures Parents More Than Surrounding Their Kids With The Kind Of Guys Who Have A Lot Of Weapons And Nothing To Do On Weekdays.