If I Had A Billion Dollars I

I Can't Watch The News Anymore. They Have Their Priorities All Out Of Whack. All I See Is Natalee Holloway And Britney Spears And The War In Iraq. Where's The Substantive News? Where's The Zach Braff Coverage?

I Had A Dream Once. I Wanted To Do A Line Of Cocaine Off A Hooker's Ass. That's When I Realized, 'hey, I'm Freakin' Zach Braff.' I Did It The Next Morning.

It Depresses Me When People Expect Me To Be Like The Characters I Play On Film. I'm Not Some Whiny Loser Punk, I'm A Man's Man.

A Lot Of People Consider 9/11 To Be A Tragedy, And In Some Ways It Is, But I Think There's Also Opportunity For A Lot Of Humor There.

I Tried It A Few Times But Didn't See The Point. I'm Zach Braff. What The Fudge Do I Need A Team For Besides Holding Me Back And Sucking? If I Wanted That, I'd Just Walk On The Set Of 'scrubs'.