If It Ain't Broke, You Can Probably

My Comedy Is Not Mine. It's A Gift. I'm Not That Smart.

I Look At It This Way: How Much Of The Day Are You Awake? You Think, "i've Gotta Get That Dry Cleaning, I Gotta Get This Going, And This, And This, And This." And All Of A Sudden It's Dinnertime. And Then There's A Moment Of Connection With Your Spouse Or Your Friends. Then You Read And Go To Bed. Wake Up And Then It's The Same All Over. You're Not Awake, You're Not Living, You're Not Experiencing. We Start Early Medicating Ourselves. We Start Kids Early, On Tv And Video Games And So On.

The World's A Mean Place. It's Unfair, Then It's Fair. It's Hateful, Then It's Loving. It's A Very Peculiar Place On Philosophical And Metaphysical And Religious Levels.

I Have Way Too Many Commitments. I Get Pulled In Too Many Directions And I Never Seem To Be Able To Satisfy Anybody. People Get Turned On By Knowing A Celebrity, Even My Friends And Family. They Feel That There's Something Exciting About Me, But In Reality There's No Substance To It. People In Airports Just Hold On To Me Expecting Something And It Seems That I Always Come Up Empty. It's Frustrating Because I'm Trying To Please Everybody, And Ya Just Can't Do That ... At Least I Can't.

Jill : What Causes Sibling Rivalry? Tim : Having More Than One Kid!