If It Doesn't Say Binford On It,

I Grew Up Around Hunters. I Love Guns, Bows, Arrows, Compasses And Binoculars. I Don't Do Any Of That Stuff, I Just Like The Stuff. I Shot One Animal, In My Life, And I Didn't Like It. If I Had To Skin An Animal To Eat It, I'd Probably Eat Vegetables.

Women Are Like Cars: We All Want A Ferrari, Sometimes Want A Pickup Truck, And End Up With A Station Wagon.

Never Comment On A Woman's Rear End. Never Use The Words 'large' Or 'size' With 'rear End'. Never. Avoid The Area Altogether. Trust Me.

Dad Needs To Show An Incredible Amount Of Respect And Humor And Friendship Toward His Mate So The Kids Understand Their Parents Are Sexy, They're Fun, They Do Things Together, They're Best Friends. Kids Learn By Example. If I Respect Mom, They're Going To Respect Mom.

Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. Topo Gigio