If It Makes You Feel Any Better

Oh, America! I Could Never Leave You! You're Like My Dog, Dumb As A Post But You Make Me Laugh!

The People Who Got Everything Wrong Are Back On Tv Talking About The Place They Got All Wrong? Cheney, Bill Kristol, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle. It's Like Satan's Vip List For Hell.

Newt Gingrich Was Campaigning At A Zoo This Week And He Was Bitten By A Penguin. Newt Gingrich Is Always Campaigning At Zoos. Mitt Romney Once Did A Photo Op At A Zoo. That Was A Big Mistake, Because He Stood Next To The Chameleon, And He Changed Colors.

I Saw This Anti-drug Commercial That Showed A Kid Smoking Pot In His Dad`s Room With His Friend. This Kid Finds A Gun, The Gun Accidentally Goes Off And Kills His Friend. Only In America Is The Villain In This Commercial Not Guns Or Bad Parenting, But Pot.

'the Lorax,'...it's A Mythical, Woodland Creature, Right, Who's For Saving Trees. He Speaks For The Trees Because No One Else Can. Kind Of The Way Conservatives Speak For Fetuses.