If It Weren't For Acid, You Might

Officials Believe That One Of The Terrorists Was A Woman. And There Are Female Suicide Bombers. It's Just That Their Reward In Paradise Is A Little Different. Instead Of Getting 72 Virgins, They Get 72 Guys Who Just Listen.

Don't Vote For Republicans Or Democrats Until They Clean Up The Open System Of Bribery That We Live Under.

In Today's Republican Party, There's A Term For People Who Hate Charity And Love Killing: 'christian.'

Since The Icelandic Volcano Obviously Needs A Virgin Sacrifice And The Catholic Church Obviously Needs New Leadership The Pope Must Volunteer To Jump In The Volcano. Pontiff, Don't Think Of It As Endorsing Paganism, Think Of It As Supersizing Ash Wednesday.

Let's Make A Law That Gay People Can Have Birthdays, But Straight People Get More Cake - You Know, To Send The Right Message To Kids.