If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be

I Was So Naive As A Kid I Used To Sneak Behind The Barn And Do Nothing.

May You Have The Income Of A Republican And The Sex Life Of A Democrat!

Never Ask Your Wife If She Still Hears From Her Old Pimp.

Egyptian President Sadat Had A Belly Dancer Entertain President Nixon At A State Dinner. Mr. Nixon Was Really Impressed. He Hadn't Seen Contortions Like That Since Rose Mary Woods.

The Best Way To Thaw A Frozen Turkey? Blow In It's Ear.