If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be

When The Public Starts Classifying You As Thoughtful, Someone Given To Serious Issues, You Find Yourself Declassified As A Humorist.

Talent Alone Won't Make You A Success. Neither Will Being In The Right Place At The Right Time, Unless You Are Ready. The Most Important Question Is: 'are Your Ready?'

According To Statistics, It's A Lot Easier To Get Hit By Lightning Than To Win A Lotto Jackpot. The Good Side: You Don't Hear From Your Relatives.

Nbc's A Little Jealous Of Cnn Correspondent Wolf Blitzer. They Want To Get A Reporter With A Macho-sounding Name Too, So They're Changing Irving R. Levine's Name To Scud Shrapnel.

It's Silly To Have As One's Sole Object In Life Just Making Money, Accumulating Wealth. I Work Because I Enjoy What I'm Doing, And The Fact That I Make Money At It - Big Money - Is A Fine-and-dandy Side Fact. Money Gives Me Just One Big Thing That's Really Important, And That's The Freedom Of Not Having To Worry About Money. I'm Concerned About Values - Moral, Ethical, Human Values - My Own, Other People's, The Country's, The World's Values. Having Money Now Gives Me The Freedom To Worry About The Things That Really Matter.