If Only Those Old Walls Could Talk...how

A Man Gets On A Train With His Little Boy, And Gives The Conductor Only One Ticket. 'how Old's Your Kid?' The Conductor Says, And The Father Says, 'he's Four Years Old.' 'he Looks At Least Twelve To Me,' Says The Conductor. And The Father Says, 'can I Help It If He Worries?

I Never Knew Anyone Yet Who Got Up At Six Who Did Anything More Useful Between That Time And Breakfast Than Banging A Tennis Ballup Against The Side Of The House, Waiting For The More Civilized Members Of The Party To Get Up.

A Great Many People Have Come Up To Me And Asked How I Manage To Get So Much Work Done And Still Keep Looking So Dissipated.

Every Boy Should Have Two Things: A Dog And A Mother Who Lets Him Have One

Next To An Old-fashioned Church Social, Or Possibly A Monster Bridge Party, There Is No Buzz Which Can Equal The Sibilant Buzz Ofa Matinée.