If People Want To See You, They'll

Yesterday In Florida, President Obama Kissed A Woman On The Cheek After She Told Him He Looks Good. Which Explains Why Last Night, Michelle Made Him Sleep On Air Mattress One.

President Obama Just Made His First Presidential Trip To The State Of Utah. Obama Spent His Time In Utah Just Like You'd Expect - Telling People, 'uh, No, I Don't Play For The Jazz.'

Director Ken Burns Revealed That His Next Documentary Is About Franklin Roosevelt, And It's Fourteen Hours Long...which Sounds Like Too Much, Until You Realize There's Been Over Thirty Hours Of Tv Dedicated To Honey Boo Boo.

I Was Into The Mets Because My Dad Worked At Ibm Where He Got Free Mets Tickets, So I Was Into The Mets... Then I Got To 'saturday Night Live' Where My Boss Has Unbelievable N.y. Yankees Tickets, So He Invites Us To The Games. I'm Going To All The Games, So I Might As Well Root For The Team I'm Gonna Go Sit With.

When I Was A Kid, You Would Tune In To "the Tonight Show" Before You Went To Sleep. Johnny Carson. A Big Treat. I Know It's A Privilege Of Mine To Be Able To Be In People's Homes. So I Hope I Make Everyone Proud, Including My Parents, And Do A Good Job In This.