If There Is A Streak Of Ham

You Want To Go Easy On The Suicide Stuff - First Thing You Know, You'll Ruin Your Health.

It Took Me Fifteen Years To Discover I Had No Talent For Writing, But I Couldn't Give It Up Because By That Time I Was Too Famous.

[reviewing The New York City Telephone Directory] But It Is The Opinion Of The Present Reviewer That The Weakness Of Plot Is Due To The Great Number Of Characters Which Clutter Up The Pages. The Russian School Is Responsible For This.

In Preparing The Soil For Planting, You Will Need Several Tools. Dynamite Would Be A Beautiful Thing To Use, But It Would Have A Tendency To Get The Dirt Into The Front-hall And Track Up The Stairs.

We Call Ourselves A Free Nation, And Yet We Let Ourselves Be Told What Cabs We Can And Can't Take By A Man At A Hotel Door, Simply Because He Has A Drum Major's Uniform On.