If There Was No Internet, My Career

So Often, Over The Course Of Our Day-to-days, We Forget The Details Of What Shapes Us Most In Life. Sure, We'll Pay Through The Nose To Have Our Weddings Videotaped, But Can We Say The Same Thing About The First Time We Discovered Masturbation, Or The Moment We Realized That The True Nature Of The Opposite Sex Is To Lie And Humiliate (and I'm Not Just Talking About Women Here)? Usually Not.

Everybody's Got One Killer Story. It Doesn't Take Talent To Tell That Story, It Just Takes Experience.

It's Like A Dream Come True. When Somebody Is Paying You To Talk About Yourself, You've Won.

In The Face Of Such Hopelessness As Our Eventual, Unavoidable Death, There Is Little Sense In Not At Least Trying To Accomplish All Of Your Wildest Dreams In Life.

People Always Ask Me If I Hate The Nuns. Do I Make My Movies Extra Dirty To Piss Them Off? I Always Say No, That's Not The Point. To A Catholic, A Movie Is Only Dirty If It Makes You Want To Have Sex More. If It Makes You Feel Sick, Disgusted, Ashamed Of Your Own Body, Then It's Not A Dirty Movie At All. It's A Catholic Movie. And I Make Very Catholic Movies.