If We Go Down In Flames, We

Clinton's Pet Labrador, Buddy, Is Getting Neutered. The Dog Will Never Have Sex Again. Overnight, They've Turned Buddy From A Democrat Into A Republican.

Did You Know That 10% Of All Americans Have Not Had Sex In 5 Years? I Didn't Know There Were So Many Republicans.

President James Garfield Could Write In Latin With One Hand While Writing In Greek With The Other. I Would Give My Right Arm To Be Ambidextrous.

I Saw Something Stupid In The Paper Today - A New Alarm Clock That Makes No Noise. It's For People Who Don't Like Loud Noises. Instead, It Slowly Hits You With Light And Gets Brighter And Brighter Until You Wake Up. I Already Have One Of Those... It's Called A Window.

According To The Washington Post, The Nsa Has Been Monitoring Phone Calls And Emails Of People In Mexico. So Apparently It's Not Enough To Spy On American Citizens, They Feel They Have To Spy On Future American Citizens As Well.