If Work Is So Terrific, How Come

The Sicker You Get, The Harder It Is To Remember If You Took Your Medicine.

I Have A Suggestion That I Think Would Help Fight Serious Crime. Signs. There Are Lots Of Signs For Minor Infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off The Grass, Keep Out, And They Seem To Work Fairly Well. I Think We Should Also Have Signs For Major Crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, No Raping People, Thank You For Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's Certainly Worth A Try. I'm Convinced Watergate Would Never Have Happened If There Had Just Been A Sign In The Oval Office That Said, Malfeasance Of Office Is Strictly Against The Law, Or Thank You For Not Undermining The Constitution.

Capitalism Tries For A Delicate Balance: It Attempts To Work Things Out So That Everyone Gets Just Enough Stuff To Keep Them From Getting Violent And Trying To Take Other People’s Stuff.

Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth. Deal With It.

If God Didn't Want You To Masturbate, He Would Have Given You Short Arms.