If You Are A Writer You're At

The Irish Are The Niggers Of Europe, Lads.

If You're From Dublin, For Example, Chances Are You Live With Your Family, If You're Lucky Enough To, Right Up To The Mid-20s. And Most Of The People I Know, When They Finally Sort Of Set Off On Their Own, They Don't Stray All That Far.

She's A Pot-of-tea-before-i-say-boo-to-you Woman. There's Always A Pile Of Warm Teabags In The Sink When I Come Down, Like What A Horse Would Leave Behind.

To Claim That Music Is More Important Than Oxygen Would Be Trite And Sentimental. It Would Also Be True.

Do Not Place A Photograph Of Your Favourite Author On Your Desk, Especially If The Author Is One Of The Famous Ones Who Committed Suicide.