If You Have A Gun, You Can

Do You Think It's Possible That When We're On Something Like Marijuana Or Mushrooms And We Believe We're Having A Really Spiritual Experience That We're Just High?

If You Have A Gun, You Can Rob A Bank, But If You Have A Bank, You Can Rob Everyone.

The American People Don't Really Care What Side Of An Issue You're On. They Just Don't Want You To Act Like A Pussy.

Rick Santorum Has Come Out Against Contraception And Against College. He Wants Us Literally To Be F**king Stupid.

New Rule: Since Our New National Position On Science Is, "screw It, We Prefer Witchcraft," Let's Not Just Retire The Space Shuttle Atlantis. Let's Drive It To One Of The Five Stupidest States And Have The Locals Beat It With Sticks. Putting It In A Museum Is Too Dangerous. Someone Could Steal It, Fly It Into Space And Notice We Revolve Around The Sun.