If You Make Waffles, Throw Out The

Marijuana Brownies Are Amazing. Very Simple To Make, Too. Just Get Some Duncan Hines Brownie Mix And Cook The Weed Right In There. Drop It Right In With The Butter. I Don't Know Who Came Up With This Idea First, But It's Sheer Genius.

I Didn't Want To Be Nobody, And That Was The Only Way I Could Be Somebody Was To Do Stand-up.

I Grew Up Not Having A Father. Golf Is The Father I Never Had. It Taught Me Honesty And Respect And Discipline And It Taught Me To Control My Temperament.

I Want To Tell You About A Woman I Have Been Married To For Ten Years, My Wife, Ann, Who Speaking Truthfully, Saved Me From Myself. Who Saved Me From Destroying Myself Because Of My Background. Who Saved Me From Wasting My Life, Drinking My Life Away, Never Fulfilling My Dreams Because Of What I Had Come From, And Truly Believing And Loving - Truly The First Person To Ever Truthfully, Unconditionally Love Me.

Look, I Made A Commitment To Corn 17 Years Ago. Sure, I'm A Man. I Like To Go To A Barbecue And See Beans That I Like: Baked Beans, Red Beans, Black Beans, Big Plump Garbanzos. But In The End, I Always Come Home To My Sweet, Sweet Corn.