If You Want To Get An Audience

How Our Government Works... It Doesn't.

It's A Shame Cars Don't Run On Cognitive Dissonance.

One Of The Most Important Things, Especially When You're Leaving School, Is To Realize You're Going To Be Dealing With A Lot Of Idiots. And A Lot Of Those Idiots Are In Charge Of Things, So If You're In An Interview And You Really Want To Tell The Person Off, Don't Do It.

Whenever Someone Says They Believe The Earth Was Created In 7 Days, I Grab A Fossil And Say, Fossil. And If They Keep Talking, I Throw It Just Over Their Heads.

The Republicans Are The Party Of Bad Ideas. The Democrats Are The Party Of No Ideas.