If You Want To Get Rid Of

Humor Is Based On Surprise, And Surprise Is A Milder Way Of Saying Shock. It's Surprise That Makes The Joke.

I Sort Of Gave Up On This Whole Human Adventure A Long Time Ago, Divorced Myself From It Emotionally. It Gives Me An Artistic Detachment That I Find Valuable. I Think The Human Race Has Squandered Its Gift, And I Think This Country Has Squandered Its Promise, For The Sake Of Cell Phones And Jet Skis.

One Good Reason To Only Maintain A Small Circle Of Friends Is That Three Out Of Four Murders Are Committed By People Who Know The Victim.

Comedy Is A Socially Acceptable Form Of Hostility And Aggression. That Is What Comics Do, Stand The World Upside Down.

Israeli Murderers Are Called "commandos," Arab Commandos Are Called "terrorists."