[in Art] You Are Telling The Reader

They All Think Any Minute I'm Going To Commit Suicide. What A Joke. The Truth Of Course Is The Exact Opposite: Suicide Is The Only Thing That Keeps Me Alive. Whenever Everything Else Fails, All I Have To Do Is Consider Suicide And In Two Seconds I'm As Cheerful As A Nitwit. But If I Could Not Kill Myself -- Ah Then, I Would. I Can Do Without Nembutal Or Murder Mysteries But Not Without Suicide.

I Couldn't Stand It. I Still Can't Stand It. I Can't Stand The Way Things Are. I Cannot Tolerate This Age.

One Of The Peculiar Ironies Of Being A Human Self In The Cosmos: A Stranger Approaching You In The Street Will In A Second's Glance See You Whole, Size You Up, Place You In A Way In Which You Cannot And Never Will, Even Though You Have Spent A Lifetime With Yourself, Live In The Century Of The Self, And Therefore Ought To Know Yourself Best Of All.

The Conviction: I Will Not Tolerate This Age. The Freedom: The Freedom To Act On My Conviction. And I Will Act. No One Else Has Both The Conviction And The Freedom. Many Agree With Me, Have The Conviction, But Will Not Act. Some Act, Assassinate, Bomb, Burn, Etc., But They Are The Crazies. Crazy Acts By Crazy People. But What If One, Sober, Reasonable, And Honorable Man Should Act, And Act With Perfect Sobriety, Reason, And Honor? Then You Have The Beginning Of A New Age. We Shall Start A New Order Of Things.

Before, I Wandered As A Diversion. Now I Wander Seriously And Sit And Read As A Diversion.