In His First Speech As Speaker, Boehner

Actually, You Know Who Gave The Shortest Inauguration Speech In History? George Washington. It Was Only Like Three Minutes Long. Well, Sure. George Washington Couldn't Tell A Lie.

President Bush Said Global Warming Is Happening Much Quicker Than He Thought, And Then His Staff Pulled Him Aside And Said 'it's Just Springtime.'

The Catholic Church Is Still Very Angry About The Da Vinci Code - They Don't Like Anything That Makes More Money In A Weekend Than They Do.

In A Landmark Decision, The Supreme Court Ruled President Obama's Healthcare Mandate Is Constitutional. This Is A Major Victory For President Obama, Who Spent Three Years Promoting It, And A Major Setback For Mitt Romney, Who Spent Three Years Creating It.

San Francisco Hosted The First Medical Marijuana Job Fair. The Keynote Speech Was Titled, 'jobs And How To Avoid Getting One.'