In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

Don't Forget It's Daylight Savings Time. You Spring Forward, Then You Fall Back. It's Like Robert Downey Jr. Getting Out Of Bed.

Now In Utah If You Get The Death Sentence, They Have The Firing Squad. In Russia, They Call That Early Retirement.

Keep In Mind That Your Individual Vote Doesn't Mean Anything.

Has The Mathematical Abilities Of A Clydesdale.

Fifteen Years Ago Tomorrow I Had Open Heart Surgery, A Quintuple Bypass Surgery. Thanks To All Of My Doctors. Because Of Them, In 15 Years Of Life I've Been Able To Experience, Well, Acid Reflux, Short-term Memory Loss, And Erectile Dysfunction. Thanks For All Your Work. It's Great To Be Alive.