In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

I'm Having Trouble Warming Up To Mitt Romney. He Looks Like The Guy In The Restaurant That Comes To Your Table To Make Sure Everything's All Right.

Asked By Reporters About His Upcoming Marriage To A Forty-two-year-old Woman, Director Roman Polanski Told Reporters, `the Way I Look At It, She's The Equivalent Of Three Fourteen-year-olds.'

Newt Gingrich Is Against Same-sex Marriage. Well, Actually, He's Against Same-marriage Sex.

President Obama's Trying To Work Out A Nuclear Deal With Iran, And The Republicans Are Steamed. They Got Together And Sent Iran A Letter About The Nuclear Deal. They Said If This Doesn't Work, By God, They're Going To Send Seth Rogen And James Franco.

There's Some Kind Of A Thing Where When She Was Secretary Of State She Was Using Her Own E-mail Instead Of The State Department, And I Thought Finally, A Clinton Scandal The Entire Family Can Enjoy.