In My World, The Wronger Something Feels,

I Was In Front Of An Ambulance The Other Day, And I Noticed That The Word Ambulance Was Spelled In Reverse Print On The Hood Of The Ambulance. And I Thought, Well, Isn't That Clever. I Look In The Rear-view Mirror; I Can Read The Word Ambulance Behind Me. Of Course While You're Reading, You Don't See Where You're Going, You Crash. You Need An Ambulance. I Think They're Trying To Drum Up Some Business On The Way Back From Lunch.

I Wonder If Illiterate People Get The Full Effect Of Alphabet Soup?

What Is The Story With The Airport Sinks, That They Will Not Give Us A Twist-on Twist-off Human Faucet. "is It That Too Risky For The Human Population? We Have To Do The One-handed Pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style Faucets. "what Is It They Think We Will Do? Turn 'em All On Full, Run Out Into The Parking Lot, Laughing, Pushing Each Other Into The Bushes?

Where Lipstick Is Concerned, The Important Thing Is Not Color, But To Accept God's Final Word On Where Your Lips End.

There Is No More Embarrassing Thing In My Life Than The Fact That I Have Actually Uttered The Phrase, 'i Would Like To Order The Ginsu Knife.'