In Paris You're Always Surrounded By French

I Was First Published In The Newspaper Put Out By School Of The Art Institute Of Chicago, Where I Was A Student. I Wince To Read That Story Nowadays, But I Published It With An Odd Photo I'd Found In A Junk Shop, And At Least I Still Like The Picture. I Had A Few Things In The School Paper, And Then I Got Published In A Small Literary Magazine. I Hoped I Would One Day Get Published In The New Yorker, But I Never Allowed Myself To Actually Believe It. Getting Published Is One Of Those Things That Feels Just As Good As You'd Hoped It Would.

Most People, Or At Least Most Of The People That I've Come Into Contact With, Would Like To Be Written About.

All I Do Is Lie, And That Has Made Me Immune To Compliments.

If I Were President, I Would Turn The Tables And Allow The Fetus To Abort Its Mother.

I Was Just Struggling With My Inner Vachette And Pondering The Depths Of My Own Inhumanity.