If Kisses Were What You Were Looking

Back In Middle School, Catherine And I Had Gone Through This Stage Where All We Would Read Were Fantasy Books. We'd Consume Them Like M&m's, By The Fistful, J.r.r. Tolkien And Terry Brooks And Susan Cooper And Lloyd Alexander. Susan Boone Looked, To Me, Like The Queen Of The Elves (there's Almost Always An Elf Queen In Fantasy Books). I Mean, She Was Shorter Than Me And Had On A Strange Lineny Outfit In Pale Blues And Greens.

I Don't Seem To Fit To Associate With Humans.

And The Truth Is, I’d Felt Kind Of A Thrill About Wearing Jason’s Big Boy Pants. I Was A Sick Kid, Even Way Back Then.

Friend Tim Shakes Hands With Perfect Specimen Of Mankind. Will Never Wash Right Hand Again.

And In What Fairy Tale Would John Ever Be Any Sane Person's Idea Of Prince Charming Anyway? He Was The Opposite Of Charming. More Like Prince Terrifying.