Iran Said It Will Give Up Trying

President Obama Became The First Sitting President To Visit A Federal Prison Yesterday. Obama Said It Was A Good Chance To Talk About Prison Reform, And To Catch Up With So Many Former Congressmen.

You Only Think Of The Best Comeback When You Leave.

Here's A Little Bit Of Good News. The Coast Guard Says That Bp Is Now Catching Up To 630,000 Gallons Of Oil A Day. The Bad News Is That They're Capturing It With Ducks.

Many People Are Noting The Difference Between Hillary Clinton's Friendly Public Appearances And Her Blunt And Direct Twitter Account. Yeah, She's Nice In Person, And Mean On The Internet. You Know, Kinda Like Everyone.

Yesterday President Obama Traveled To Jamaica, Where He Will Meet With Students And Caribbean Leaders. Jamaica's Such A Beautiful Place, Obama Says He Can't Wait To Just Take It All In, Hold It For Several Seconds, And Then Exhale.