It May Be The Way The Cookie

The Next Time You Feel Like Complaining, Remember That Your Garbage Disposal Probably Eats Better Than 30 Percent Of The People In The World

Very Few People Ever Meet Celebrities. All We Really Know Is What We Read About Them And The Most Memorable Lines Are Jokes. That's How We Tend To Define What We Think Of A Public Figure.

It's Amazing How Important Your Job Is When You Want The Day Off - And How Unimportant It Is When You Want A Raise.

I Got A Valentine's Day Card From My Girl. It Said, 'take My Heart! Take My Arms! Take My Lips!' Which Is Just Like Her. Keeping The Best Part For Herself.

Economists Can Certainly Disappoint You. One Said That The Economy Would Turn Up By The Last Quarter. Well, I'm Down To Mine And It Hasn't.