It's Always Weird Being The Only White

One Time This Guy On The Street Wanted Me To Give Him A Medical Opinion, Because I'm A Doctor On Tv. I'm Also A Real Doctor. But I'm Also Zack Braff, So I Kicked Him In The Groin.

I Mean, I'm A Writer, Actor, And Director. Not To Rock The Boat Or Anything, But Compare That To A Carpenter And, In The End, Who Is The Better Man?

People Have Always Wondered What My Opinion On Stevie Wonder Is. I Say If He's So Great How Come He Can't See? I Mean, God Doesn't Make Mistakes, Just Look At Me For Example.

I Wouldn't Say I'm Bigger Than Jesus. If I Had To Guess, I'd Say Probably, Yeah, But As Far As I Know, The Bible Is Never Clear On This.

Once Both Gay Marriage And Marijuana Are Finally Legal, Those Of You Against Them Are Not Invited To The Really Fun Parties I'm Gonna Throw.