It's Hard To Convince People That You're

I Used To Go On College Campuses 25 Years Ago And Announce I Was A Feminist, And People Thought It Meant I Believed In Free Love And Was Available For A Quick Hop In The Sack. ... Now I Go On College Campuses And Say I'm A Feminist, And Half Of Them Think It Means I'm A Lesbian. How'd We Get From There To Here Without Passing "go"?

I Know: "guns Don't Kill People." But I Suspect That They Have Something To Do With It. If You Point Your Finger At Someone And Say, "bang, Bang, You're Dead," Not Much Actually Happens.

What We Have Here, Fellow Citizens, Is A Crassly Egocentric, Raving Twit.

Havin' Fun While Freedom Fightin' Must Be One Of Those Lunatic Texas Traits We Get From The Water - Which Is Known To Have Lithium In It - Because It Goes All The Way Back To Sam Houston, Surely The Most Lovable, The Most Human, And The Funniest Of All The Great Men This Country Has Ever Produced.

As I Have Pointed Out Time And Again, It's A Hell Of A Lot Cheaper To Send Little Kids To School Than It Is To Let Them Grow Up Into Young Thugs Who Have To Be Sent To Prison, Not To Mention The Savings In The Wear And Tear On The Nerves, Property, And Safety Of The Rest Of The Citizenry.