It's Harder To Make Something Good When

I Do Like To Start On Time; I Like To Set The Bar High For People.

In A Study, Scientists Report That Drinking Beer Can Be Good For The Liver. I'm Sorry, Did I Say 'scientists'? I Meant Irish People.

Some People Say, “never Let Them See You Cry.” I Say, If You’re So Mad You Could Just Cry, Then Cry. It Terrifies Everyone.

And, You Know, Politics Aside, The Success Of Sarah Palin And Women Like Her Is Good For All Women - Except, Of Course - Those Who Will End Up, You Know, Like, Paying For Their Own Rape 'kit 'n' Stuff. But For Everybody Else, It's A Win-win. Unless You're A Gay Woman Who Wants To Marry Your Partner Of 20 Years - Whatever. But For Most Women, The Success Of Conservative Women Is Good For All Of Us. Unless You Believe In Evolution. You Know - Actually, I Take It Back. The Whole Thing's A Disaster.

This January, Kevin Costner Will Be Honored By The Palm Springs International Film Festival For His Contribution To Film. This Gives Costner Just Two Months To Make A Contribution To Film.