It’s Only By Studying The Mistakes Of

God, What If Tmz Got Hold Of The Truth About Me? What A Liar I Am, I Mean? What Kind Of Role Model Am I? I Make Vanessa Hudgens Look Like Mother Freaking Teresa. Minus The Whole Nudity Thing. Because I'm Not About To Take Naked Photos Of Myself And Send Them To My Boyfriend.

Not Like This Vision Before Us, Who Was Shaking Water Out Of His Slightly Overlong Reddish-brown Hair As He Leaned Over To Lay Down His Board (revealing, As He Did So, The Fact That Beneath His Baggy Swim Trunks—so Weighted Down With Water That They Had Sunk Somewhat Dangerously Low On His Hips—lurked What Appeared To Be An Exceptionally Well-formed Gluteus Maximus)

Anybody Can Be A Princess. All You Have Todo Is Have The Right Parents. It's No Harder Than Being Born Paris Hilton, For God's Sake. At Least You Remember To Put On Underwear In The Morning, I'm Assuming

But If That Was Really True, Why In The Name Of All That Is Holy Would Anyone Have Ever Liked Nikki In The First Place? I Was Becoming More And More Convinced She Was A Cross Between Heidi Montag And Hitler.

But I Let It Slide, Because, Hello, Hot Guy.