It's Very Sweet To Have People Say

I Have No Idea What I'm Going To Say When I Stand Up To Give A Toast. But I Do Know That Anything I Say I Find Funny.

Well, I Call Myself An Actor. I Always Wanted To Be One.

I Never Could Tell A Joke. I Just Started Talking To The Audience, And When The Drunks Would Yell, "hey, When Do The Broads Come On?" I Got Good At Saying, "relax. Clear Your Skin Up First." They Called Me "the Insult Guy," But It's Never Mean-spirited. I'm Just Exaggerating Everything About Us And About Life.

No Matter Where You Go In This World, You Will Always Find A Jew Sitting In The Beach Chair Next To You.

You've Got To Be Able To Sell Yourself.