It Scares Me How Fast I Go

You Did The Best You Could," And She Seemed To Believe I Had. I Said, "i've Just Been Going Through The Motions," Using The Expression My Father Had After He'd Watched My First Tennis Lesson. "sweetie," She Said, "that's What A Lot Of Life Is.

In The Cab To The Station, He Told Me That When He Was Growing Up He'd See A Look Of Pleasure Cross His Mother's Face And Ask What She Was Thinking: She'd Say, I Was Just Thinking Of Your Father. "that's How I Want Us To Be," Archie Said. I Smiled. "what?" I Said, "i Was Just Thinking Of Your Father.

I Realize I Will Never Hear From Dena Again, And I Will Never Call Her. It Gives Me A Chill. It Is A Strange Thing To End A Friendship, Even If You Know It's What You Want. It's Like A Death; All Of A Sudden Your Experience Of A Person Become Finite.

During Chemo, You're More Tired Than You've Ever Been. It's Like A Cloud Passing Over The Sun, And Suddenly You're Out. But You Also Find That You're Stronger Than You've Ever Been. You're Clear. Your Mortality Is At Optimal Distance, Not Up So Close That It Obscures Everything Else, But Close Enough To Give You Depth Perception. Previously, It Has Taken You Weeks, Months, Or Years To Discover The Meaning Of An Experience. Now It's Instantaneous.

Basically, All Anyone Has To Do Is Ask Me For Fun Details Or Tell Me To Be Creative, And My Mind Turns To Mud. I Am Instantly The Most Boring Person You've Ever Met.