It Was So Cold In New York

New York... When Civilization Falls Apart, Remember, We Were Way Ahead Of You.

President Bush Insisted That There Was Nothing In The August 6th, 2001 Briefing, Which Was Titled 'bin Laden Determined To Attack The United States', That Hinted What Bin Laden Was Up To. Bush Says That He Would Have Moved Mountains To Stop The Attack. Yeah, But He Draws The Line At Reading A Memo.

Former President Bill Clinton Is On The Program Tonight. He Says That While His Wife Runs For President, He Would Like To Stay Out Of The Limelight. Well, He's Certainly Come To The Right Place. He'll Be Fine Here.

Our Guest Tonight Is Michelle Obama, First Lady Of The United States. She's Here To Announce Her Run For President.

Obesity Is Now A Problem In The Navy. They've Created A New Rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.