Its Okay I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers.

Hello, My Sister, Libby, Also Your Daughter, Is Snogging A Potato In My Bed. What Are You Going To Do About It?' Dad Started Yelling Uncontrollably. I Wonder If He Is Having The Male Menopause? If He Starts Growing Breasts, I Will Definitely Be Running Away With The Circus.

The Tannoy Is Crackling But I Can Only Hear Heavy Breathing And Snuffling. ... Uh-oh, The Tannoy Is Crackling Again. "sorry About That, Ladies And Gentlemen, I Momentarily Lost Hold Of My Pie.

I Will Not Have Him In My Brain;there Is No Room For Anyone Else In The Cakeshop Of Agony. It's Crowded Enough In There Already.

When Uncle Eddie Does His Impression Of 'like A Virgin' It's Like Madonna Is Coming Out Of His Body!' Christ What An Image.

Shut Up Jas, You Are Not Baby Jesus