Jeez Banana! Shut Your Freaking Gob!

I Want Maggie Gyllenhaal. I Don't Know Why. I Don't Think She Necessarily Looks Like Me Or Acts Like Me, I Just Think She's A Cool Actress And She Could Play Me, So There You Go.

The Things That I Write Are Autobiographical In A Surreal Sense, Like When You Have A Dream And You Go To The Doctor's Office, But Then You Turn Around And It's Actually Your Childhood Home And The Doctor Has Turned Into Ryan Reynolds.

I Just Want To Be Able To Keep My House And Pay For My Son's School Tuition In Los Angeles.

To Aspiring Writers, I Would Tell Them That We Live In A Wonderful Time Where You're Able To Make Your Work Visible, Easily. If You Think About It, Even Ten Years Ago Or Twenty Years Ago, There Was A Middle Man, There Was A Publisher, There Were Studios, There Was This World Of Rejection Letters. Now, We're In A Place Where We Have The Technology And The Ability To Go Shoot Our Own Movies Or To Put Stuff On Youtube Or A Blog, If You're A Writer, Or Self-publish.

Of Course, The Strippers Also Take Pains Not To Appear Too Innocent, Valorous, Or Bookishly Inclined. (in Direct Opposition To The Swayze Mandate Of 1987, Everybody Puts Baby In A Goddamn Corner.)