Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged.

Board The Cows! We've Come To Enslave Your Marigolds.

How Can My Ankles And Arms Be Obscene?

As A Kid, I Imagined Lots Of Different Scenarios For My Life. I Would Be An Astronaut. Maybe A Cartoonist. A Famous Explorer Or Rock Star. Never Once Did I See Myself Standing Under The Window Of A House Belonging To Some Druggie Named Carbine, Waiting For His Yard Gnome To Steal His Stash So I Could Get A Cab Back To A Cheap Motel Where My Friend, A Neurotic, Death-obsessed Dwarf, Was Waiting For Me So We Could Get On The Road To An Undefined Place And A Mysterious Dr. X, Who Would Cure Me Of Mad Cow Disease And Stop A Band Of Dark Energy From Destroying The Universe.

I'll Try To Communicate, Taylor Said. She Spoke Slowly And Deliberately. Hello! We Need Help. Is Your Village Close? My Village Is Denver. And I Think It's A Long Way From Here. I'm Nicole Ade. Miss Colorado. We Have A Colorado Where We're From Too! Tiara Said. She Swiveled Her Hips, Spread Her Arms Wide, Then Brought Her Hands Together Prayer-style And Bowed. Kipa Aloha. Nicole Stared. I Speak English. I'm American. Also, Did You Learn Those Moves From Barbie's Hawaiian Vacation Dvd? Ohmigosh, Yes! Do Your People Have That, Too?

Maybe That's What Real Friendship Is -- Getting So Used To People That You Need To Be Annoyed By Them.