Junk Runs In The Family. My Granddad

If You Can See The Handwriting On The Wall... You're On The Toilet.

You Make Me Wish That Birth Control Was Retroactive.

I Feel Sorry For People Who Don't Drink Or Do Drugs. Because Someday They're Going To Be In A Hospital Bed, Dying, And They Won't Know Why.

Do You Realize That If The Pilgrims Have Been Chasing Bobcats Instead Of Turkeys.. We'd All Be Eating Pussy On Thanksgiving?!

I'm A Sagittarian, See, I Can't Be Fenced In. I Been Living In Las Vegas, Greatest City In The World. I Look Out My Window For 100 Miles. In Vegas, There's Nothing To Do But Gamble, Drink Or Have Sex. I Have Two Of 'em.