Keep In Mind That Your Individual Vote

This Isn't Brain Surgery; It's Just Television.

Ladies And Gentlemen, After What I've Been Through, I Am Happy Just To Be Wearing Clothes That Open In The Front.

One Of The Dogs In The Competition, A Portuguese Water Dog, Is Related To President Obama's Dog, Bo. But They Only See Each Other At Funerals And Weddings.

According To The Rand Mcnally Places-rated Almanac, The Best Place To Live In America Is The City Of Pittsburgh. The City Of New York Came In Twenty-fifth. Here In New York We Really Don't Care Too Much. Because We Know That We Could Beat Up Their City Anytime.

I'm A Wiseass And A Smartass, And I Always Have Been.