Kids Learn By Example. If I Respect

I Think There's A Percentage [of The Audience] That Don't Realize, That Don't Know That [standup] Is How Everything Began. We Planned It, We Work Hard, Rehearsals To Get This. It's More Of A ... It's Not Just Coming In There In A T-shirt And Holding A Microphone.

I Have A Thing For Tools.

When You're 6 Or 7, Your Father Becomes This Wonderful Presence In Your Life. I Really Responded To My Father. And Then, The Very Moment I Realized That I Loved Him Unconditionally, That Life Was Going To Be Great Just Because He Was In It, He Was Gone.

They Say You Only Go Around Once, But With A Muscle Car You Can Go Around Two Or Three Times.

Now The Denominator ... Why Don't They Just Call It The Bottom Number? The Denominator ... That Sounds Like A Schwarzenegger Movie Doesn't It? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I Am The Denominator. I'll Give Your Leg A Compound Fraction!