Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury. It's

I Am Such A Pessimist That Every Project Has Surpassed What I Envisioned.

Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53. Over Barcelona Today, The Famed Reindeer Was Hit By A Flock Of Seagulls And A 747. Eyewitnesses Report, That The Reindeer In Spain Was Hit Mainly By The Plane.

Onstage I Do All The Stuff I'd Never Do In Real Life, Like Lashing Out At People Who Make Me Mad Or Freaking Out In A Long Bank Lineup. Performing Allows Me To Fulfill All The Sicko Fantasies I've Ever Had.

After A Disappointing Summer, Humpty Dumpty Has A Great Fall.

It All Started With A Badly Timed Bald Joke!